Wednesday, May 28, 2008


I've talked here before about Hana being spirited That discovery made a huge change in our relationship, and in our whole family dynamic. Understanding her personality, her sensitivities and her needs has cut power struggles out of the equation. I'm able to empower her, and to teach her tools she needs to cope with the intensity of her emotions, especially disappointment.

I've also learned the power that water has over my child. I know many people (myself included) who feel a sense of calm and peace when sitting by the water, or who find a hot shower or relaxing bath to be the perfect cure for all their troubles. Hana is the same way.

IF she's having a cranky day, water is the cure. Sitting her in her high chair with a few tablespoons of water on her tray for her to splash in is a powerful cure for a bad day. A shower or bath is like hitting her reset button and getting a second chance at the day. If she's in the middle of a fit and just can not calm down, putting her fingers or toes in cool running water brings her back to her senses.

It's an amazing thing how quickly and easily it calms her. Sure, she (and the floor) get a bit wet every now and then, but honestly that's much easier to deal with than a screaming toddler. It's also something that she'll be able to use herself as she gets older, a tool to help her deal with life.

1 comment:

echoeslikehorses said...

That's awesome. A lot of the stuff I've read about BPD says that if naturally emotional children grow up with parents who don't understand their emotions, invalidate them or don't teach how to handle them, they can develop BPD. But equally emotional kids who are brought up in the right environment can learn to deal with their feelings and don't go on to have problems. I hadn't heard the term "spirited" before. It's a good word. :)