Saturday, August 27, 2005

Living Grace

I work at a mall, so in the course of a day at work, I see a lot of people, and every day at some point my heart breaks and I cry out to God for them. There are so many people in this city and the vast majority of them (over 90%) don't know the love and grace that comes from God. They don't know the freedom that they can have. I see broken and hurting people, when I smile at them it seems to just fill them and break them at the same time.

I want to save the world, or at least this small part of it. I want my life to have an impact on the lives of those around me, whatever that takes and whatever it means.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Jehovah Jirah

I've been reading the blogs of a few friends lately and noticing a theme - we're all amazed when God does exactly what He said He will do. Now, I'm not saying I don't feel the same way, or that we shouldn't be amazed at miracles, but there are times when we're just so dense.

Ok, now I'm talking from personal experience. I know I need to trust God, I know God will provide for me, but I guess there's always this little bit of me that wonders "well, what if He doesn't"

Ben is getting on full time at the place he's been working as a temp. The wage will be between 13.75 and 15 something to start. I am amazed by this. How can it be that God would work that out. I mean, isn't it supposed to be harder than this?

I have another job offer too. For the past month or so I've been working at LaSenza (my 3rd job since moving to Calgary), making not very much money. I have an interview with a bank next week, full time, days, no weekends, starting at 10.00/h. But I don't know what to do. I see God opening this door, and there's a part of me wondering if it's just a trick. I mean, He's already given me a job, wouldn't it be a lack of faith in His prvision to look at getting something that pays more.

I want to follow God, I want to be where He wants me to be, and, I am. I'm in Calgary, I'm working at the church. And I'm starting to realize that whatever my second job is He will use me and provide for us.

Pray that the interview goes well

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Corporate Worship

I had a really good conversation with my husband last night about corporate worship. Well, really we were talking about the problem of an individualistic mindset within Christianity, but it lead to a discussion about worship, and I'd really appreciate feedback on this.

A lot of times in services I can remember being told to "close my eyes, block out everyone else and just meet with God" during a worship service. I'm starting to think that is entirely the wrong way to approach corporate worship. To meet with God is good, but to ignore the presence of everyone around me in order to do it just doesn't feel right. What is the point of gathering together if we are all going to build mental rooms to block everyone else out.

corporate worship should involve everyone. We should be aware of those around us and aware of their connection with God. There are times when I *gasp* open my eyes and look around during worship and watch other people. To see someone encountering God is amazing. To watch the changes in their expression, in their posture, just a light flowing through them causes me to worship God. To see another person not so connected, perhaps upset or distracted leads me to pray for them, to ask God to give them comfort and draw them to Him.

When we worship together I think it should be together, a shared experience, not a collection of individual experiences. Our mindset needs to change so that we are open with our connection to God, not hiding it. There still needs to be a servant heart, not doing things that would intentionally distract people, but freedom to share the experience.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Ok, so I finally got around to putting up some wedding pictures on my photoblog...hope you all enjoy! Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

New Photoblog

Check out my new photo blog at