Balance

Life is all about balancing things, managing the tension between two extremes. Some days I'm better at it than others, but what I've learned is that something, inevitably, has to give.

I can't have a clean house and knit. Some people can do that, but not me. Something has to give (and if you've ever been to my house, you know what that is).

Thing is, I'm ok with that. I've completely accepted that I'm not going to be good at everything. I'm human, not some sort of superwoman. There are days my house is a mess, and nights I choose to watch tv when I should be sleeping, and I do break down and yell at the kids now and then.

But those things don't define me as a mother or wife or person, I don't feel the "mommy guilt" like I used to. I don't strive for perfection, but for consistency and balance. In fact, slowly I've been able to come to a point where I don't compare myself to others, where I don't feel useless, where I'm actually proud of myself (at least most days, no one is perfect, right?)

I'm not sure how this change happened - wether I got fed up or grew up - but I'm glad it's changed.