Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Confessions of a reluctant co-sleeper

When I was pregnant with Hana I had so many ideas and thoughts about how I would parent. Within about a month they pretty much all went out the window.

The hardest one for me to get over was my disinterest in co-sleeping. Ok, disinterest is too mild of a word. I hated the idea. Ben and I had decided that Hana would be in our room for the first month or two in a pack-n-play bassinet, and then she would sleep in her own bed. That lasted about half a night.

When I was struggling with nursing, I would bring Hana in bed with me because side-lying was pretty much the only osition that worked for us. However the fear of rolling on her and the attitude that I would never be able to get her out of our bed made that short lived, and back to the pack-n-play she went once I stopped nursing.

That was when I realized she was a very noisy sleeper, and we all decided (as in I decided) that we'd sleep better if she was in her crib. I'd rock her and settle her and then I was free for the night.

Or at least free until the early morning hours when she thought it was morning and I still wanted more sleep.

And so the routine began. I lay down with Hana to help her go to sleep, then move her into her bed, and then sometime between midnight and 7 am she comes back in with us.

My reasons are selfish though. It's easier to pop her soother in her mouth when it's inches away from me instead of accross the hall. And she sleeps longer in our bed, which means I sleep longer, and that's always a good thing.

But we still don't co-sleep all the time. Not because of the insane idea she'll be sleeping with us until she's a teen. I mean come on people, if sleep associations from infancy were that far ingraned then most of us would still be in cribs wailing before we fell asleep. No, it's because I can't get over my need for my own space. I can't let go of the idea that it's my only baby free time (even if it does only come in two hour incriments).

 x  n n nm mn n n รง gb vbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb xc zx n hn xcv  ˜¨hjjx∆˙vz (Hana's contribution to the subject....).

So for now, Hana is welcome in our bed at any point in the night, so long as when I go to bed I can convince myself she's spending the night in her own room.


Mommy Rader said...

When I was first nursing with both the boys we co-slept because like you, I struggle with nursing (and by struggle I mean I am one of the few women that can't) and so we would side-lay and nurse/sleep and do it pretty much all through the night. When I stopped nursing and both boys were sleeping completely through the night (both at 2 months) co-sleeping was no longer necessary and I can't stand co-sleeping with the kids. I know some people like to/have to or whatever, but for me it's not an issue of being selfish or having baby-free time, it's an issue of keeping our bed sacred for just us two. And by two I mean Justin and I, of course :) Now...this is a crazy idea to some I know...and in no way am I condeming those who find co-sleeping is what works for them. Just sharing my thoughts. And keep these good posts, coming Steph! They make for good discussions!!

Dena said...

Yes, they certainly do make for good discussions and food for thought. I, also, was never interested in co-sleeping. As you said, it's about the only "baby free" time we get. Micaiah is such a good sleeper, and has been since about four months, that I now wish he could occasionally sleep with us. Not often, just every now and then when we choose. But he is so used to sleeping in his crib that he gets so distracted in bed with us and just wants to play. Maybe someday he will be able to cuddle with us and sleep.

You mentioned sleeping in two hour incriments. Is Hana getting up that often in the night? How do you get any sleep?

Steph said...

Hana goes down between 8 and 11 (she's transitioning to one nap, so how much sleep she gets through the day determines when she goes down for the night). I usually don't make it to bed until about midnight. She gets up between 2-3, then again between 5-7, then up for the day at 9ish. The waking at 2 she usually puts herself back to sleep by the time I get into the room, so half the time I don't even get out of bed, but I'm still awake. the early morning wake up is when she comes into our bed - she'd be happy getting up for the day then, but that's way too early for me.

Aside from 4 nights she slept through (until 5 anyway) that's how it's been working since she was about 3 months old.