Life has been a bit hectic lately.
Actually hectic isn't quite the right word, or doesn't seem to be, because my days are spent at home with Hana, no rushing around or pressure to get things done.
I've been stressed out for very stupid reasons. Reasons like not having dusted since Christmas, or not getting all the laundry put away, or deciding Hana's messy face isn't really worth a struggle.
I say these are stupid reasons, because none of them really matter or are worth my stress. No, my home isn't spotless, the dishes aren't all done, and a lot of the laundry still isn't put away (but it is folded, an accomplishment in itself!), and sometimes my daughter's face has traces of breakfast on it for most of the day. THose are things that so often make women feel less - less of a wife, less of a mother, less of a woman.
Why is this. Why is our worth tied up so much in our actions, in appearances? Do we honestly think it would be better to sacrifice time with our husbands and children, the very people that make us wives and mothers, for the sake of a few dishes or dust bunnies?
Now don't get me wrong, I don't think living in a mess is a good idea either. It is important to provide a safe and orderly home for the sanity of all those who live there. But I think we get carried away sometimes, especially since really there is no one judging us on how well we do in these areas.
I've started changing my attitude, finding my sense of worth in the PEOPLE in my life, instead of the THINGS in my life. To find joy in the moments instead of feeling useless guilt, stress and anxiety over things that don't really matter. Surprisingly, when I stop stressing about these things, I'm able to find the time and energy to get them done anyway!