I believe in God's power. I have seen God provide for people in amaizing ways, including myself. And yet I still sometimes have trouble believing it will happen. I still doubt, I still try to take care of things or provide for myself.
Life this new job. I had been wanting for months to quit at La Senza, but it never felt like the right thing to do. A few times I actually got up the nerve to apply for a job but didn't get it (which is very odd in this city, there are more jobs than people to work them, and I was always qualified) which was very discouraging and heart breaking. I couldn't understand why God was making me stay there and telling me it wasn't the right place for me at the same time.
Then, through contacts from La Senza I got my new job. It's not perfect, but it's good. And the people I work with are great. For ministry, it's a pretty strategic place to be. God took care of me, even through my doubts and unbelief.
Not that I don't believe tho....that's the thing. I just don't know how to use my faith. I dn't know how to live my belief sometimes. It's hard to trust, even when I know.