Wednesday, March 21, 2007

The Wilderness

Last year around this time I was praying. I was thanking God for all that was happening, for my friends, for my ministry, for my pregnancy, for the opportunity to reach out to the people I worked with.

As I prayed, I started falling asleep, and as I started falling asleep, I heard God.
"I love you my child" He said
"I'm going to lead you through the wilderness"
"No Lord" I responded
"Yes child, I'm going to lead you through the wildreness"
I started crying, repeating no no
"I will be with you and will meet you on the other side"

I woke up with tears streaming down my face, shaking and sobbing. I knew it wasn't a dream, I knew it was real, it was true, and still I refused to believe it. I tried to pass it off as just a dream and forget it had happened, even though I knew it ws real.

As the year went by, it was rough, it was excrutiating. At the same time I was drawn to expand on an idea I had used for a prayer night, paralleling the exodus events withthe Christian walk. I couldn't do it, however, without looking at the wildreness.

In my stubborness, I went through a lot of things alone, and felt more pain than I needed to, I'm sure.

The wilderness is seen as a place of fear, a place of death. I've learned that's not all there is to it. It's also a place of provision, a place of faith, a place to be refined, to grow, and to learn.

I'm through the wilderness now, and am learning the lessons. God did lead me through the wilderness, He was with me then and has met me on the other side. The new me, a different me that I am still getting to know, still growing into.

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