Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Thoughts on Love

Love is a much over used word. Over my life I have told many people I love them. For some close friends I can not imagine another way to express my appriciation and devotion to them. In my younger days, the phrase "I love you" would far too easily roll off my tongue.

I would have an experience with someone. They would be handsom, sweet, charming. I'd feel feminine, beautiful, sensual, and I would equate all of that with love. Eventually, the feelings would fade and I'd become withdrawn and unavailable. They would get frustrated with me and eventually end things. It was always for the best, few of them were worth my time and none were worth my heart.

My first year of Bethany, I decided to make some changes. No more flirting, no more teasing, no more giving away my heart. I made a vow not to date, to take time to know myself and those around me. This went so far that when a friend of mine tried to set me up with Ben I was dead set against it. Besides, he was not even close to my type. He was a nice guy, very sweet, a good friend, but that was all.

Over the months that Ben and I were friends, he began to woo me. I can't descibe it any other way. There was no flirting (at least not the kind I was used to), no games, no pressure. He cared for me, sought me, opened himself to me and drew me in to him. Over that year I fell in love with him, and by the time we started dating I already knew I could marry him.

There have been times in my life when I have encountered aspects of God. His power, might and creativity. I have felt alive in His presence, grown to know myself better, felt as though I could take on the world. When those feelings faded, I have become withdrawn and unavailable.

Lately, I have been drawn to the story of Hosea, of Gomer and God and the nation of Israel.

Hosea 2:14 speaks of wooing, of the lover drawing His love away from all others and "speaking kindly". I feel as though lately God has been wooing me, causing me to run away with Him, drawing me in, caring for me, opening Himself to me.

I am in awe of God, and I think now I am finally beginnig to truly fall in love with God

better late than never I guess....


Mommy Rader said...

Sweet post. Hey...do you know (well of course you prolly know) if Dan and Joy had the babies yet???? I've been thinking about them tons and I know her due date is close if not already passed. Are you able to give me the scoop???

Steph said...

sorry, I didn't anounce it very well, Joy did have her babies, they induced her early because of some minor complications, plus she was about ready to burst. I told her you were asking so I think (hope) they're going to send you guys an email and maybe some pictures.

Mommy Rader said...


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