After a few questions (and a comment telling me to "stop potty training Hana and let her be a baby!") I thought I'd try to give a bit of an explanation of Elimination Communication (EC).
Diapers have not always existed, nor are they used globally. EC is a natural way to deal with infant elimination (bowls and bladder) without diapers. However, most North Americans who EC do use diapers as a back up method, tho generally with baby on the diaper instead of diaper on the baby. This makes it easier to see when there's a "miss" and to better understand the signals.
Babies from birth signal before they eliminate. It could be a grimace or relaxed look on the face, wiggling to a certain position, making a certain noise, whatever. If you catch these signals and hold baby over an appropriate "potty" (bowl, toilet, sink, whatever...), they learn their communication is effective and over time will refine it.
There are different windows where it's recommended to start EC, but it can be done at any time, so long as the care giver is patient and observant. This is NOT the same as "infant potty training" where restraints or punishment are used in order to teach the child when to hold and when to release. It's very gentle and responsive to the baby's own body needs.
With Hana we EC part time. We actually started using a potty when she was almost 6 months old (when she could sit unassisted), but really started doing it when she was about 3 months. Hana had issues with her formula and was very constipated. Every night we would have "naked time" before bed and that's usually when she pooped. After a few weeks, she would not poop in her diaper, but would whine, cry, struggle etc. until we took it off. She trained us pretty well.
About a week before we bought the potty I was talking to a member of my babywearing group, her daughter is only a couple weeks older than Hana and had been ECed since birth. She said they went through only a couple of diapers a day. Less diapers means less wash, so it sounded pretty good to me, especially since we had already learned Hana's signals.
Last month Ben, Hana and I went away for the night to a church retreat, and forgot to bring the potty. Actually, it wasn't so much forgot as we didn't even think to bring it with us because she was so young. She didn't poop at all that weekend and was quite uncomfortable. When we got home we put her on the potty and within 5 minutes she felt MUCH better.
We're a little slack with catching Hana's pees, but she's teaching us to pay more attention. She's gone 3 hours with a dry diaper today, which is amazing considering the ammount of fluids we're filling her with because of the heat. She whines when she needs the potty, and goes within a minute or two of being put on it. It really is amazing that she's picked up on it so quickly. Then again, if you had the option to not sit in your own pee you'd probably learn pretty quick too.
Hana likes her potty. She'll sit there for a few minutes and play with her toys, and we take her off once she's done. There's nothing difficult or harsh about it at all. Every day I'm more amazed at her abilities, her personality and her ability to communicate her needs.
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Friday, July 20, 2007
Flawed Logic
Something I was reading the other day pointed this out, I thought it was rather interesting.
We're told to be careful how we treat infants because we don't want to set up bad habits. For example:
Don't sleep with your child - you'll never get her out of your bed.
Don't respond to every little noise - he needs to learn to self soothe.
Don't always carry her around - you don't want her to get used to it.
and so on.
And yet....
We never hear anyone say:
Don't let your baby pee in his diaper, you'll never get him potty trained.
In fact, we EXPECT babies to eliminate where ever and when ever in their diapers for two years (or more!!!) and then learn how to use a toilet when they're developmentally ready. Too bad that attitude can't be transfered over to some of the other situations.....
(and some would argue that's it's completely backwards and it's the diapers that aren't necessary and cause problems...)
We're told to be careful how we treat infants because we don't want to set up bad habits. For example:
Don't sleep with your child - you'll never get her out of your bed.
Don't respond to every little noise - he needs to learn to self soothe.
Don't always carry her around - you don't want her to get used to it.
and so on.
And yet....
We never hear anyone say:
Don't let your baby pee in his diaper, you'll never get him potty trained.
In fact, we EXPECT babies to eliminate where ever and when ever in their diapers for two years (or more!!!) and then learn how to use a toilet when they're developmentally ready. Too bad that attitude can't be transfered over to some of the other situations.....
(and some would argue that's it's completely backwards and it's the diapers that aren't necessary and cause problems...)
Suck Face
Over the last few days Hana has started giving kisses.
Usually that means grabbing our face and sucking whatever is closest to her mouth - nose, chin, cheek, it's all good for her.
I love it!!!!!
Usually that means grabbing our face and sucking whatever is closest to her mouth - nose, chin, cheek, it's all good for her.
I love it!!!!!
Monday, July 16, 2007
Crazy
There was an article published recently declaring that children as young as 6 months can lie. You can read it here.
Now that you're back, let's discuss.
The premus here is that there is nothing really wrong with the child when they cry, therefor they are lying and manipulating their care giver into responding to them. Seems basic enough. I'm sure everyone who's spent any time around kids has encountered this - baby cries, nothing seems wrong, you pick baby up, baby stops crying. So obviously they were just trying to manipulate you, right?
Or let's consider this. Baby has limited means of communication. Baby is feeling lonely, stressed, cold, uncomfortable, itchy, whatever. Baby cries and is picked up. Whatever was bothering baby suddenly isn't bothing them, they stop crying.
Yeah, sure, but the researches covered this, they said babies would cry, wait for a response, and then cry again. Well if most babies start doing this at 6 months then Hana is ahead of the curve. At around 4 months she learned that she could "call" to us when she woke up in the morning. It isn't really a cry, but I suppose that's what it would sound like if you didn't know what she was doing. That's how we knew she was awake and ready to get out of bed in the morning. She wasn't making us think something was wrong, she was just communicating in the only way she knew how.
So why do babies "cry for attention" - I have a theory. Babies start life with the ability to communicate. There are signals they make when they are hungry, when they need to eliminate, when they are tired, when they need to be held etc. The first few months of life is spent refining this communication. For example:
Mother is watching baby. Baby moves towards mother's breast. Mother makes no response. Baby moves hands to mouth. Mother makes no response. Baby sucks hands. Mother makes no response but wonders what's going on. Baby cries. Mother feeds it.
Next time things are similar:
Mother is watching baby. Baby moves towards mother's breast. Mother makes no response. Baby moves hands to mouth. Mother makes no response. Baby sucks hands and whimpers. Mother feeds it.
And the next time:
Mother is watching baby. Baby moves towards mother's breast. Mother makes no response. Baby moves hands to mouth. Mother feeds it.
Ok so it might not be quite so smooth as that and it takes a lot more practice, but you get the point. Baby and mother develop their own language in order to get things done. If these signals are missed in the early months then the baby resorts to crying. Not crying to manipulate, but crying because that's how they've learned to express their needs.
So why does this happen?
Because we live in a culture where children are seen as less than adults. Their needs aren't as important and need to be controlled, scheduled, or extinguished. We're told by relatives, strangers, friends and (most appalling) medical professionals that if we're not careful a baby will quickly gain power over us and manipulate us and we'll become slaves to our children. The only way to stop this is to very early teach a baby "who's boss". There's even the perpetuating myth that crying is good exercise for babies and is actually necessary for proper lung development.
Give me a break! Look at things from the eyes of the child. Hana is in the "grab everything and put it in mouth" stage. She's so funny to watch because her mouth is almost ALWAYS open waiting for whatever it is she's trying to get her little hands on. We're pretty good about keeping safe things within her reach, but every now and then she's grab a forbidden object (my glasses for instance), and we'll have to take it away from her. We try our best to always trade things because we want to teach her to give, not to take, but it's not always that easy. So she cries.
Now some would say she's crying so that I'll take pity on her and give her the object back.
I say she's crying because something she worked hard to get has been taken from her and she doesn't understand why. She's frustrated, confused, a little angry and has no other way to expect that. Yes, she'd stop crying if I gave it back (wouldn't you?), but that doesn't mean the purpose of the cry was to manipulate. I don't give it back. But I also don't dismiss how she's feeling. I let her know I understand she's frustrated and upset, but that she can't chew on x because of y. Then I try to find something that will make her happy.
Why do I react like that? Firstly because that's how I would want to be treated. Secondly because I want to teach her to name and express her emotions in a healthy way. Thirdly because I want her to see that her feelings are valid and important so that she'll learn to validate and respect the feelings of others.
There's this idea floating around that parents are either dictators ("because I said so" sort of thinking) or permissive (let their kids have whatever they want no matter what). As with almost everything else, there is middle ground. It is possible to set boundaries for children (because everyone needs healthy boundaries) without minimalizing their feelings, needs and wants. Yes, even wants. I get things I want but don't need (like tonight when I asked Ben to go get me some popcorn at 10 pm...my husband is too good to me!), so I extend the same ability to Hana. No, she won't get everything she wants, and as she grows up I'll t each her how to choose what is important, but right now I make those choices for her. I hate the language of control that is used when talking about parenting. We need to empower children, to support them in their emotions, in their explorations, in their desires. There's this cultural attitude that allows us to put adult motivation (manipulating emotions for a desired response) on a child's behaviour (having no way to express how they feel but crying).
Sigh...
It's human nature to learn behaviour through what we see and experience. If power is taken away from a child then they will take away power. If feelings are dismissed they become uncaring. I honestly think that if the world had a healthier view of children we would have a lot more healthy adults.
Now that you're back, let's discuss.
The premus here is that there is nothing really wrong with the child when they cry, therefor they are lying and manipulating their care giver into responding to them. Seems basic enough. I'm sure everyone who's spent any time around kids has encountered this - baby cries, nothing seems wrong, you pick baby up, baby stops crying. So obviously they were just trying to manipulate you, right?
Or let's consider this. Baby has limited means of communication. Baby is feeling lonely, stressed, cold, uncomfortable, itchy, whatever. Baby cries and is picked up. Whatever was bothering baby suddenly isn't bothing them, they stop crying.
Yeah, sure, but the researches covered this, they said babies would cry, wait for a response, and then cry again. Well if most babies start doing this at 6 months then Hana is ahead of the curve. At around 4 months she learned that she could "call" to us when she woke up in the morning. It isn't really a cry, but I suppose that's what it would sound like if you didn't know what she was doing. That's how we knew she was awake and ready to get out of bed in the morning. She wasn't making us think something was wrong, she was just communicating in the only way she knew how.
So why do babies "cry for attention" - I have a theory. Babies start life with the ability to communicate. There are signals they make when they are hungry, when they need to eliminate, when they are tired, when they need to be held etc. The first few months of life is spent refining this communication. For example:
Mother is watching baby. Baby moves towards mother's breast. Mother makes no response. Baby moves hands to mouth. Mother makes no response. Baby sucks hands. Mother makes no response but wonders what's going on. Baby cries. Mother feeds it.
Next time things are similar:
Mother is watching baby. Baby moves towards mother's breast. Mother makes no response. Baby moves hands to mouth. Mother makes no response. Baby sucks hands and whimpers. Mother feeds it.
And the next time:
Mother is watching baby. Baby moves towards mother's breast. Mother makes no response. Baby moves hands to mouth. Mother feeds it.
Ok so it might not be quite so smooth as that and it takes a lot more practice, but you get the point. Baby and mother develop their own language in order to get things done. If these signals are missed in the early months then the baby resorts to crying. Not crying to manipulate, but crying because that's how they've learned to express their needs.
So why does this happen?
Because we live in a culture where children are seen as less than adults. Their needs aren't as important and need to be controlled, scheduled, or extinguished. We're told by relatives, strangers, friends and (most appalling) medical professionals that if we're not careful a baby will quickly gain power over us and manipulate us and we'll become slaves to our children. The only way to stop this is to very early teach a baby "who's boss". There's even the perpetuating myth that crying is good exercise for babies and is actually necessary for proper lung development.
Give me a break! Look at things from the eyes of the child. Hana is in the "grab everything and put it in mouth" stage. She's so funny to watch because her mouth is almost ALWAYS open waiting for whatever it is she's trying to get her little hands on. We're pretty good about keeping safe things within her reach, but every now and then she's grab a forbidden object (my glasses for instance), and we'll have to take it away from her. We try our best to always trade things because we want to teach her to give, not to take, but it's not always that easy. So she cries.
Now some would say she's crying so that I'll take pity on her and give her the object back.
I say she's crying because something she worked hard to get has been taken from her and she doesn't understand why. She's frustrated, confused, a little angry and has no other way to expect that. Yes, she'd stop crying if I gave it back (wouldn't you?), but that doesn't mean the purpose of the cry was to manipulate. I don't give it back. But I also don't dismiss how she's feeling. I let her know I understand she's frustrated and upset, but that she can't chew on x because of y. Then I try to find something that will make her happy.
Why do I react like that? Firstly because that's how I would want to be treated. Secondly because I want to teach her to name and express her emotions in a healthy way. Thirdly because I want her to see that her feelings are valid and important so that she'll learn to validate and respect the feelings of others.
There's this idea floating around that parents are either dictators ("because I said so" sort of thinking) or permissive (let their kids have whatever they want no matter what). As with almost everything else, there is middle ground. It is possible to set boundaries for children (because everyone needs healthy boundaries) without minimalizing their feelings, needs and wants. Yes, even wants. I get things I want but don't need (like tonight when I asked Ben to go get me some popcorn at 10 pm...my husband is too good to me!), so I extend the same ability to Hana. No, she won't get everything she wants, and as she grows up I'll t each her how to choose what is important, but right now I make those choices for her. I hate the language of control that is used when talking about parenting. We need to empower children, to support them in their emotions, in their explorations, in their desires. There's this cultural attitude that allows us to put adult motivation (manipulating emotions for a desired response) on a child's behaviour (having no way to express how they feel but crying).
Sigh...
It's human nature to learn behaviour through what we see and experience. If power is taken away from a child then they will take away power. If feelings are dismissed they become uncaring. I honestly think that if the world had a healthier view of children we would have a lot more healthy adults.
Friday, July 13, 2007
Parenting
Have I mentioned how much I love being a mommy?
It's the most wonderful thing in the world. I'm in awe of my daughter, her curiosity, her personality, her excitement and joy in the simplest things. No really, the simple things. One of her favorite things to do is sit outside and try to eat the grass, she could do that for hours.
I'm a much different parent than I thought I would be. I remember telling Ben that after the first few weeks she wouldn't be in our room, and she'd never be in our bed. The reality - in our bed was the only way I could get her to nurse when she nursed, and she still sleeps in our bed when she needs to.
I also have stopped trying to count how many ounces she takes how many hours apart. I don't know how much she eats during the day, but it's obviously enough. Really the only sort of scheduling I do is with her sleeping, and it's on a schedule she fell into on her own. That's even changing right now, I think she's either about to learn to crawl or transitioning to one nap. I really hope it's crawling!
I had heard of elimination communication when I was pregnant and honestly thought it was a little insane. Now as I write this my 8.5 month old is sitting on her potty.
I didn't expect to parent like this, but the more I read, the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. I wouldn't want to sit in my own mess. I wouldn't want to be left alone to cry myself to sleep. I want her to grow up respecting the needs of others, and that means respecting her needs.
As she's gotten older things have changed. I only wear her when we go out or if she's really cranky, where as before it was for 6-8 hrs a day. I let her fall asleep on her own for naps and bedtime instead of laying down with her or rocking her, but I still go in and comfort her if she cries. Usually if she cries going to sleep it means she needs to be changed or she's hungry. The rest of the time she's wiggled herself to the corner of her bed and is stuck. Last night she managed to spin completely around before going to sleep, her feet ending up where her head was when I had laid her down.
She's taught me so much. How to laugh, how to look at the world differently, how to make people around me smile. It's a wonderful thing, more wonderful than I could have ever imagined. I'm a better person as her mother than I could have been on my own.
It's the most wonderful thing in the world. I'm in awe of my daughter, her curiosity, her personality, her excitement and joy in the simplest things. No really, the simple things. One of her favorite things to do is sit outside and try to eat the grass, she could do that for hours.
I'm a much different parent than I thought I would be. I remember telling Ben that after the first few weeks she wouldn't be in our room, and she'd never be in our bed. The reality - in our bed was the only way I could get her to nurse when she nursed, and she still sleeps in our bed when she needs to.
I also have stopped trying to count how many ounces she takes how many hours apart. I don't know how much she eats during the day, but it's obviously enough. Really the only sort of scheduling I do is with her sleeping, and it's on a schedule she fell into on her own. That's even changing right now, I think she's either about to learn to crawl or transitioning to one nap. I really hope it's crawling!
I had heard of elimination communication when I was pregnant and honestly thought it was a little insane. Now as I write this my 8.5 month old is sitting on her potty.
I didn't expect to parent like this, but the more I read, the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. I wouldn't want to sit in my own mess. I wouldn't want to be left alone to cry myself to sleep. I want her to grow up respecting the needs of others, and that means respecting her needs.
As she's gotten older things have changed. I only wear her when we go out or if she's really cranky, where as before it was for 6-8 hrs a day. I let her fall asleep on her own for naps and bedtime instead of laying down with her or rocking her, but I still go in and comfort her if she cries. Usually if she cries going to sleep it means she needs to be changed or she's hungry. The rest of the time she's wiggled herself to the corner of her bed and is stuck. Last night she managed to spin completely around before going to sleep, her feet ending up where her head was when I had laid her down.
She's taught me so much. How to laugh, how to look at the world differently, how to make people around me smile. It's a wonderful thing, more wonderful than I could have ever imagined. I'm a better person as her mother than I could have been on my own.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Teething Sucks
My poor baby girl. We've been going through this for MONTHS (like, since she was 3 months old) and still no teeth. She's working on three of them, her gums are all swollen and we can feel the hard bumps of teeth, but nothing has broken through yet.
Just when I think it's as bad as it can get and they've got to break through, it gets worse. The last few days have been really rough, she wakes up every hour or two in pain, she has a hard time eating, and nothing really helps. This means we have a very tired hungry and cranky baby girl. She's been sleeping in our bed because it's easier to sooth her back to sleep there, but it means Ben and I don't get much sleep either.
During the day it's easy enough to keep her happy and distracted, but at night things get much harder.
On another note, she now has 4 "words" - dada, nana, baba, and mama. As of right now she seems to use them randomly, but Ben says she says mama when she's tired and wants me. Dada seems to happen when she's having fun (whether or not Ben is here), and the other two are completely random.
She's also so adorably cute that I really don't care that much about how she keeps us up, extra snuggles during the night are definitely not a bad thing, and I know she'd much rather be sleeping too. I just hope it doesn't get any worse.
Just when I think it's as bad as it can get and they've got to break through, it gets worse. The last few days have been really rough, she wakes up every hour or two in pain, she has a hard time eating, and nothing really helps. This means we have a very tired hungry and cranky baby girl. She's been sleeping in our bed because it's easier to sooth her back to sleep there, but it means Ben and I don't get much sleep either.
During the day it's easy enough to keep her happy and distracted, but at night things get much harder.
On another note, she now has 4 "words" - dada, nana, baba, and mama. As of right now she seems to use them randomly, but Ben says she says mama when she's tired and wants me. Dada seems to happen when she's having fun (whether or not Ben is here), and the other two are completely random.
She's also so adorably cute that I really don't care that much about how she keeps us up, extra snuggles during the night are definitely not a bad thing, and I know she'd much rather be sleeping too. I just hope it doesn't get any worse.
Friday, July 06, 2007
8 months
My baby girl is 8 months old. Wow how time flies.
I remember being pregnant this time last year, she was just starting to kick hard enough for other people to feel, I was huge, I knew she was a girl, and I couldn't wait to meet her.
Now, I'm just as amazed. She's so curious, so interested in everything going on. Yesterday in the line for starbucks she was on my back and one of the people behind me was having a staring contest with her. She usually would win, and then smile and laugh. It was great fun. She watches people, and she picks up on things. I can tell already she's going to be very intuitive and empathetic - if I'm stressed she will not go to sleep for me, no matter how much I try to mask it. Instead, she makes faces and noises and gets me to smile and relax.
She also has a very strong personality already, which doesn't really surprise me. That can be such a good thing, so long as it's nurtured. She'll have the inner strength to stand for what she believes, to make changes, to be someone. I need to learn how to encourage those things and learn to understand her so we don't end up clashing all the time. I'll have to learn how to pick my battles as she grows up.
She's beautiful and fun and talkative and I just love her to bits.
I remember being pregnant this time last year, she was just starting to kick hard enough for other people to feel, I was huge, I knew she was a girl, and I couldn't wait to meet her.
Now, I'm just as amazed. She's so curious, so interested in everything going on. Yesterday in the line for starbucks she was on my back and one of the people behind me was having a staring contest with her. She usually would win, and then smile and laugh. It was great fun. She watches people, and she picks up on things. I can tell already she's going to be very intuitive and empathetic - if I'm stressed she will not go to sleep for me, no matter how much I try to mask it. Instead, she makes faces and noises and gets me to smile and relax.
She also has a very strong personality already, which doesn't really surprise me. That can be such a good thing, so long as it's nurtured. She'll have the inner strength to stand for what she believes, to make changes, to be someone. I need to learn how to encourage those things and learn to understand her so we don't end up clashing all the time. I'll have to learn how to pick my battles as she grows up.
She's beautiful and fun and talkative and I just love her to bits.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Boycott
July 2-8 has been named as Nestle Free Week
What's so bad about Nestle you ask?
The boycott has been going on for 30 years and is due mostly to Nestle targeting mothers in impoverished nations in order to get them to use formula. As was stated in 1978
"Can a product which requires clean water, good sanitation, adequate family income and a literate parent to follow printed instructions, be properly and safely used in areas where water is contaminated, sewage runs through the streets, poverty is severe and illiteracy is high?"
The answer, of course, is no.
Now, I formula feed Hana. It was a hard choice to make, but one of necessity, things had gotten so bad she was starving and would not latch. I know other people who formula feed just because they choose to, and that is their decision to make. However, they did so with clean water and sterile materials, ensuring their baby was not getting contaminated food, doing the best they could even tho it wasn't the optimal source of nutrition. So this isn't about a mother's ability to choose what she feeds her baby.
This is about targeting mothers in situations where preparing formula properly is near impossible, in North America and around the world. In North America low income families are more likely to use formula. I don't know if you've noticed, but formula is expensive, 11-30$ a can, which for Hana (who eats about 30 oz a day) lasts about 5 days. If mother's can't afford the formula they're prone to water it down or offer substitutes (juice etc.) and the baby ends up not getting the nutrition it needs. Sure, Nestle (and other companies) are good about sending them coupons, but think about the difference that would have been made if the mother was given the support and resources she needed in order to successfully nurse. Also, even with the coupons, Nestle is still bringing in a profit, so they really aren't being the good guys.
In the same vein, targeting mothers in situations where clean water is nearly impossible to come by is just horrible. Baring any life threatening condition that would make breastfeeding more of a risk than contaminated water there is no reason why formula would be the best choice. It makes me sick to think of those infants who could be getting all the food they need (and antibodies) from their mother safely but instead are starving.
So even tho Nestle formula might say "breast is best" they still give out samples to mothers in hospital (and anyone who has breastfed knows the first few days and weeks are all a confidence game), give gifts to health care workers and promote their formula over the "competition" (a successful nursing relationship).
According to the World Health Organization, 1.5 million babies die every year as a result of not being breastfed. That's too many.
So please consider joining this boycott, even just for the week. And don't forget to let Nestle know you're boycotting them and why.
There's more info here, here, and here.
Oh, and a list of what to boycott is here. Remember to always check labels, companies buy and sell products all the time.
What's so bad about Nestle you ask?
The boycott has been going on for 30 years and is due mostly to Nestle targeting mothers in impoverished nations in order to get them to use formula. As was stated in 1978
"Can a product which requires clean water, good sanitation, adequate family income and a literate parent to follow printed instructions, be properly and safely used in areas where water is contaminated, sewage runs through the streets, poverty is severe and illiteracy is high?"
The answer, of course, is no.
Now, I formula feed Hana. It was a hard choice to make, but one of necessity, things had gotten so bad she was starving and would not latch. I know other people who formula feed just because they choose to, and that is their decision to make. However, they did so with clean water and sterile materials, ensuring their baby was not getting contaminated food, doing the best they could even tho it wasn't the optimal source of nutrition. So this isn't about a mother's ability to choose what she feeds her baby.
This is about targeting mothers in situations where preparing formula properly is near impossible, in North America and around the world. In North America low income families are more likely to use formula. I don't know if you've noticed, but formula is expensive, 11-30$ a can, which for Hana (who eats about 30 oz a day) lasts about 5 days. If mother's can't afford the formula they're prone to water it down or offer substitutes (juice etc.) and the baby ends up not getting the nutrition it needs. Sure, Nestle (and other companies) are good about sending them coupons, but think about the difference that would have been made if the mother was given the support and resources she needed in order to successfully nurse. Also, even with the coupons, Nestle is still bringing in a profit, so they really aren't being the good guys.
In the same vein, targeting mothers in situations where clean water is nearly impossible to come by is just horrible. Baring any life threatening condition that would make breastfeeding more of a risk than contaminated water there is no reason why formula would be the best choice. It makes me sick to think of those infants who could be getting all the food they need (and antibodies) from their mother safely but instead are starving.
So even tho Nestle formula might say "breast is best" they still give out samples to mothers in hospital (and anyone who has breastfed knows the first few days and weeks are all a confidence game), give gifts to health care workers and promote their formula over the "competition" (a successful nursing relationship).
According to the World Health Organization, 1.5 million babies die every year as a result of not being breastfed. That's too many.
So please consider joining this boycott, even just for the week. And don't forget to let Nestle know you're boycotting them and why.
There's more info here, here, and here.
Oh, and a list of what to boycott is here. Remember to always check labels, companies buy and sell products all the time.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Attitude Adjustment
(Disclaimer: Nothing I'm about to say is an attack on any individual. It's a lament over the current state of things, and possibly a gripe towards the people with some sort of authority that perpetuate it, but nothing personal. If you do the things I complain about here I understand it's just because it's the "norm" and "the way things are done" etc. I hold nothing against you. Basically don't read more into this than what I'm putting here...thank you.)
Our current culture has an awful view of children. Ok, maybe awful is going a bit to far, but at the very least it's frightening and negative. Parents are so often told (by Doctors, books, "experts" etc.) that they need to "train" their child.
Children aren't dogs!
It's so frustrating to me when I am told I need to "sleep train" Hana. Or when people think I'm odd for "potty training" her. Or when I'm told it's such an awful thing that I respond to her or wear her because I'm "training" her to be clingy and needy.
If we treated any other class of people the way children are treated there would be an uproar. If an elderly person without mobility was left without access to a bedpan and had to sit in soiled clothing for an hour (or more!) people would have a fit. If a person without the ability to clearly communicate was left alone crying until they fell asleep authorities would be called in. If we see a stranger on the street in obvious need of something (a tire change, for example), we stop to help. If someone is hungry we do what we can to feed them.
And yet when it comes to infants none of the above applies. We're told they need to be left to figure things out for themselves. To "self soothe", to learn they can't always "get their way". I'd like to find the person who first came up with that idea and ask them where their mind went.
If anyone else in my life were in need of something, someone I cared about even the slightest bit, I'd be seen as mean or uncaring if I didn't offer some comfort or respond to them in some way.
We somehow lost sight of what it means to be a child - to explore, to learn, to grow, to be in the care of another. Yes, children need structure and boundaries, but they also need to be able to be children.
Attachment theory talks about the need for a child to develop secure attachment to a primary care giver. This security helps to balance and regulate the child, giving a safety. When it comes time for the child to explore or try something new, they have the reassurance of that safe place and the confidence to try new things. Unfortunately, outside of early childhood education or child psychology, attachment theory isn't very well known.
Some people think this is just part of me being an idealist. Or it's because Hana's my first child. Or because she's a baby. Or that I just plain don't know what I'm talking about. I don't care. I'm going to raise my child with the same respect and dignity that I would show to anyone else and would respect for myself. If I were to hit an adult it would be considered assault, so I won't hit her. I don't like crying myself to sleep, so I don't make her do it. I can eat when I'm hungry so I extend the same privilege to her. I know that the people who love me will be there for me when I need them, and I make sure she has the same security. I will teach her to be a loving and compassionate person by being loving and compassionate towards her. I will let her know there are things in life that aren't fair and she won't like, but that they're small compared to all the good things she can get out of life, and I will help her to work through them.
A quote I love (tho can't find who said it) is "It's easier to raise healthy children than it is to fix broken adults.". I think that once this mentality is more widely adopted we will see a big change in the world. I want Hana to be part of that change.
Our current culture has an awful view of children. Ok, maybe awful is going a bit to far, but at the very least it's frightening and negative. Parents are so often told (by Doctors, books, "experts" etc.) that they need to "train" their child.
Children aren't dogs!
It's so frustrating to me when I am told I need to "sleep train" Hana. Or when people think I'm odd for "potty training" her. Or when I'm told it's such an awful thing that I respond to her or wear her because I'm "training" her to be clingy and needy.
If we treated any other class of people the way children are treated there would be an uproar. If an elderly person without mobility was left without access to a bedpan and had to sit in soiled clothing for an hour (or more!) people would have a fit. If a person without the ability to clearly communicate was left alone crying until they fell asleep authorities would be called in. If we see a stranger on the street in obvious need of something (a tire change, for example), we stop to help. If someone is hungry we do what we can to feed them.
And yet when it comes to infants none of the above applies. We're told they need to be left to figure things out for themselves. To "self soothe", to learn they can't always "get their way". I'd like to find the person who first came up with that idea and ask them where their mind went.
If anyone else in my life were in need of something, someone I cared about even the slightest bit, I'd be seen as mean or uncaring if I didn't offer some comfort or respond to them in some way.
We somehow lost sight of what it means to be a child - to explore, to learn, to grow, to be in the care of another. Yes, children need structure and boundaries, but they also need to be able to be children.
Attachment theory talks about the need for a child to develop secure attachment to a primary care giver. This security helps to balance and regulate the child, giving a safety. When it comes time for the child to explore or try something new, they have the reassurance of that safe place and the confidence to try new things. Unfortunately, outside of early childhood education or child psychology, attachment theory isn't very well known.
Some people think this is just part of me being an idealist. Or it's because Hana's my first child. Or because she's a baby. Or that I just plain don't know what I'm talking about. I don't care. I'm going to raise my child with the same respect and dignity that I would show to anyone else and would respect for myself. If I were to hit an adult it would be considered assault, so I won't hit her. I don't like crying myself to sleep, so I don't make her do it. I can eat when I'm hungry so I extend the same privilege to her. I know that the people who love me will be there for me when I need them, and I make sure she has the same security. I will teach her to be a loving and compassionate person by being loving and compassionate towards her. I will let her know there are things in life that aren't fair and she won't like, but that they're small compared to all the good things she can get out of life, and I will help her to work through them.
A quote I love (tho can't find who said it) is "It's easier to raise healthy children than it is to fix broken adults.". I think that once this mentality is more widely adopted we will see a big change in the world. I want Hana to be part of that change.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Growth Spurts
Hana's getting big.
Of course, big is relative. And being that she's my daughter, I don't expect her to ever be really all that big. Hopefully, unlike me, she'll actually pass the 5 ft mark.
When we took her to get checked this past Wednesday I was surprised that she's 16.5 lbs (at 7 months...). I still get a little teary when I realize her pants are getting a little short. Then I look at the tag and realize they're 6 month pants and I'm lucky to have gotten as much wear out of them as I have (altho some of her 3 month tops still fit).
Well, tonight she woke up wet and needed her jammies changed. Ben, being the wonderful husband and father that he is, grabbed some clean jammies out of the laundry basket and went to change her.
He brought her back out looking like this:
Apparently there is a limit to how much baby you can stuff into a sleeper. It was just washed, which means she has worn it in the past week.
So tomorrow I'm going to go through her clothes and start packing more stuff away. My little baby is growing up...sniff
Of course, big is relative. And being that she's my daughter, I don't expect her to ever be really all that big. Hopefully, unlike me, she'll actually pass the 5 ft mark.
When we took her to get checked this past Wednesday I was surprised that she's 16.5 lbs (at 7 months...). I still get a little teary when I realize her pants are getting a little short. Then I look at the tag and realize they're 6 month pants and I'm lucky to have gotten as much wear out of them as I have (altho some of her 3 month tops still fit).
Well, tonight she woke up wet and needed her jammies changed. Ben, being the wonderful husband and father that he is, grabbed some clean jammies out of the laundry basket and went to change her.
He brought her back out looking like this:
Apparently there is a limit to how much baby you can stuff into a sleeper. It was just washed, which means she has worn it in the past week.
So tomorrow I'm going to go through her clothes and start packing more stuff away. My little baby is growing up...sniff
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
7 months
ok, a couple days late again...oops?
My baby girl is now 7 months old. In the last month we have changed 1 poopy diaper. Speaking of diapers, she's finally out of the size small ones that we were given and into the mediums. We take her for her shots tomorrow, so I'll find out how big she is then, but I'm thinking it's right around 15lbs right now.
She's starting talking, more specifically, saying dada. Over and over again. All the time. Dadadadada dada dadadada dadada. It's much better than the grunting that she had been doing for a while.
Still no tooth, we're waiting.
She's super curious and aware of things going on around her, so many people have pointed this out to us.
Her hair is growing in (finally!).
She can shake her head no.
Going to sleep at night she rubs her belly and it looks like she's doing some little dance, super adorable!
She's eaten: carrots, avacado, peaches, mango, pears, watermellon, honeydew, tomato, mustard, apple sauce, and sweet patato, but no more than about a tbs at a time of anything. She likes tasting but isn't sold on the whole eating thing yet.
She's perfect, I love her, and I can't even remember what life was like before her.
My baby girl is now 7 months old. In the last month we have changed 1 poopy diaper. Speaking of diapers, she's finally out of the size small ones that we were given and into the mediums. We take her for her shots tomorrow, so I'll find out how big she is then, but I'm thinking it's right around 15lbs right now.
She's starting talking, more specifically, saying dada. Over and over again. All the time. Dadadadada dada dadadada dadada. It's much better than the grunting that she had been doing for a while.
Still no tooth, we're waiting.
She's super curious and aware of things going on around her, so many people have pointed this out to us.
Her hair is growing in (finally!).
She can shake her head no.
Going to sleep at night she rubs her belly and it looks like she's doing some little dance, super adorable!
She's eaten: carrots, avacado, peaches, mango, pears, watermellon, honeydew, tomato, mustard, apple sauce, and sweet patato, but no more than about a tbs at a time of anything. She likes tasting but isn't sold on the whole eating thing yet.
She's perfect, I love her, and I can't even remember what life was like before her.
Monday, May 21, 2007
She's So Smart!
I spent a fair amount of time with babies growing up, but never had enough experience to realize how incredibly smart they are. Now that I'm a mom, I'm constantly amazed at how much Hana knows and learns and communicates.
For instance, since she's learned to sit up well, we've been putting her on the potty now and then. At first it was just another place for her to sit and play, but now she anticipates it. When we're on the ball we put her on every time she wakes up. She's learned that and usually pees (or even poops!!!) within a couple minutes of being on the pot. At first I thought it was just coincidence, but it happens pretty much every time. She's learning how to use it.
She also knows what the wrap is. Since she was about 2 months old she's always gotten happy when she's seen me get out the wrap, and it just keeps getting more and more obvious. It's something she loves and feels safe and comfortable in. She smiles and laughs while she's being wrapped.
She communicates really well too. She has different noises for when she's wet or hungry or bored or tired. She lets us know very clearly what she needs, and the look on her face when we understand is priceless. She gets so proud of us!
As she grows I'm just more and more in awe of her, of how she learns and her personality. We are so blessed!
For instance, since she's learned to sit up well, we've been putting her on the potty now and then. At first it was just another place for her to sit and play, but now she anticipates it. When we're on the ball we put her on every time she wakes up. She's learned that and usually pees (or even poops!!!) within a couple minutes of being on the pot. At first I thought it was just coincidence, but it happens pretty much every time. She's learning how to use it.
She also knows what the wrap is. Since she was about 2 months old she's always gotten happy when she's seen me get out the wrap, and it just keeps getting more and more obvious. It's something she loves and feels safe and comfortable in. She smiles and laughs while she's being wrapped.
She communicates really well too. She has different noises for when she's wet or hungry or bored or tired. She lets us know very clearly what she needs, and the look on her face when we understand is priceless. She gets so proud of us!
As she grows I'm just more and more in awe of her, of how she learns and her personality. We are so blessed!
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Fluffy Mail
Ben bought me a Purple Waves Didymos wrap for our aniversary. Yup, I have the best husband in the world!
I wasn't expecting it until Friday, but got a wonderful surprise today!
It's so thin and airy and supportive and grippy and soft! Ok, it's a little stiff, but I'm sure that won't last long. Here's a pic in the box: (It's really not as blueish as it looks in the pic)
So here we are in our first ruck. She likes it
In fact, she likes it so much she fell asleep and I didn't want to disturb her when we got home, so I just took one strap off and left her up there:
Isn't she cute!
Her's a better picture of the colour:
I wasn't expecting it until Friday, but got a wonderful surprise today!
It's so thin and airy and supportive and grippy and soft! Ok, it's a little stiff, but I'm sure that won't last long. Here's a pic in the box: (It's really not as blueish as it looks in the pic)
So here we are in our first ruck. She likes it
In fact, she likes it so much she fell asleep and I didn't want to disturb her when we got home, so I just took one strap off and left her up there:
Isn't she cute!
Her's a better picture of the colour:
Thursday, May 03, 2007
6 months old!
My baby is half a year old. Part of me can't believe it, where did the time go? The other part of me can't believe there was ever a time when she wasn't part of my life.
In the past few weeks she has become an expert at sitting. She can even grab her toes or any other toy that happens to be in front of her and then sit back up.
She's peed on the potty twice. Yes, I realize it's probably flukes and most people will think I'm insane for even sitting her on it, but that's two diapers I'll never have to change, how insane is that?
She still gets up a couple of times a night. Some nights this really bothers me, but most of the time I don't care. The first waking is right before we go to bed (around 11) and the second is at around 5:30, so it's really not so bad, especially since she goes to bed at about 8 every night and doesn't get up for the day until between 7 and 8 in the morning.
She wants to crawl. She lays on the floor and kicks and flails and wants to be moving. It doesn't quite happen yet, but she's working on it.
I've learned how to wrap her on my back. I know, this isn't one of her accomplishments, but you take 4 meters of cloth and get your baby on your back with no help and tell me you don't feel proud.
There's TONS of pics at her site, I'll put a few of my favorites up here once they upload.
In the past few weeks she has become an expert at sitting. She can even grab her toes or any other toy that happens to be in front of her and then sit back up.
She's peed on the potty twice. Yes, I realize it's probably flukes and most people will think I'm insane for even sitting her on it, but that's two diapers I'll never have to change, how insane is that?
She still gets up a couple of times a night. Some nights this really bothers me, but most of the time I don't care. The first waking is right before we go to bed (around 11) and the second is at around 5:30, so it's really not so bad, especially since she goes to bed at about 8 every night and doesn't get up for the day until between 7 and 8 in the morning.
She wants to crawl. She lays on the floor and kicks and flails and wants to be moving. It doesn't quite happen yet, but she's working on it.
I've learned how to wrap her on my back. I know, this isn't one of her accomplishments, but you take 4 meters of cloth and get your baby on your back with no help and tell me you don't feel proud.
There's TONS of pics at her site, I'll put a few of my favorites up here once they upload.
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